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Experiencing refusal, particularly when it occurs frequently, is anything but enjoyable. A publisher is turning you down, delivering a firm “Not interested.” As a writer, I am familiar with rejection. I began submitting articles half a century past, upon finishing university. Since then, I have had two novels declined, along with book ideas and many short stories. During the recent 20 years, specializing in commentary, the denials have multiplied. In a typical week, I get a rejection frequently—amounting to over 100 times a year. In total, denials throughout my life run into thousands. Today, I could claim a master’s in rejection.

However, does this seem like a woe-is-me outburst? Far from it. Since, at last, at the age of 73, I have accepted rejection.

How Have I Managed It?

Some context: At this point, almost everyone and their distant cousin has said no. I haven’t kept score my success rate—doing so would be very discouraging.

A case in point: lately, an editor rejected 20 pieces one after another before accepting one. In 2016, no fewer than 50 publishing houses declined my book idea before someone approved it. Subsequently, 25 literary agents rejected a book pitch. A particular editor requested that I send potential guest essays less often.

My Phases of Rejection

In my 20s, every no stung. I felt attacked. I believed my work was being turned down, but myself.

Right after a submission was rejected, I would begin the phases of denial:

• Initially, surprise. Why did this occur? Why would these people be overlook my skill?
• Second, denial. Certainly they rejected the incorrect submission? This must be an mistake.
• Then, rejection of the rejection. What can editors know? Who appointed you to decide on my efforts? You’re stupid and the magazine is poor. I deny your no.
• Fourth, anger at those who rejected me, followed by frustration with me. Why do I put myself through this? Could I be a glutton for punishment?
• Fifth, negotiating (preferably seasoned with delusion). What will it take you to recognise me as a once-in-a-generation talent?
• Sixth, sadness. I’m not talented. Worse, I’ll never be accomplished.

This continued for decades.

Excellent Company

Of course, I was in fine fellowship. Accounts of writers whose books was originally rejected are numerous. The author of Moby-Dick. Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. James Joyce’s Dubliners. The novelist of Lolita. Joseph Heller’s Catch-22. Nearly each famous writer was first rejected. Because they managed to overcome rejection, then maybe I could, too. The sports icon was dropped from his school team. The majority of American leaders over the recent history had earlier failed in races. The filmmaker says that his movie pitch and desire to appear were declined repeatedly. For him, denial as an alarm to motivate me and get going, not backing down,” he stated.

The Final Phase

As time passed, upon arriving at my 60s and 70s, I entered the seventh stage of setback. Understanding. Today, I grasp the various causes why a publisher says no. Firstly, an reviewer may have just published a similar piece, or be planning one in progress, or just be contemplating a similar topic for another contributor.

Alternatively, unfortunately, my pitch is not appealing. Or the reader feels I don’t have the experience or stature to fit the bill. Perhaps is no longer in the market for the work I am submitting. Or was busy and scanned my submission hastily to see its value.

Feel free call it an awakening. Any work can be declined, and for whatever cause, and there is pretty much not much you can do about it. Certain rationales for denial are always beyond your control.

Your Responsibility

Some aspects are your fault. Admittedly, my proposals may from time to time be ill-conceived. They may not resonate and appeal, or the idea I am struggling to articulate is insufficiently dramatised. Alternatively I’m being flagrantly unoriginal. Or a part about my writing style, particularly commas, was annoying.

The point is that, regardless of all my years of exertion and rejection, I have achieved widely published. I’ve published multiple works—the initial one when I was middle-aged, another, a personal story, at retirement age—and in excess of 1,000 articles. My writings have featured in newspapers major and minor, in regional, worldwide platforms. An early piece was published in my twenties—and I have now submitted to various outlets for 50 years.

However, no major hits, no author events publicly, no appearances on talk shows, no speeches, no prizes, no big awards, no Nobel, and no medal. But I can better handle rejection at this stage, because my, humble successes have cushioned the jolts of my many rejections. I can choose to be reflective about it all at this point.

Instructive Setbacks

Rejection can be educational, but only if you pay attention to what it’s indicating. Or else, you will likely just keep interpreting no’s the wrong way. So what insights have I acquired?

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